Things are sailing forward ^^

I start my new job on August 8th :)

He always makes all my doubts

go away~ I love him so much.

So I wanted to make Ryo happy..

So I told him he could be friends with Neyah again. It's going to kill me inside if not destroy me but as long as he is happy I don't care. I wish I wasn't like this...having so many insecurities and abandonment issues. I just want someone to stay because they want too and because they care..ugh why.

I hate when my head is like this..

Ugh please stop.

It does suck

That I don't have a job anymore but at least I have a little break. Yesterday was pretty good my mom helped out with Ryo's wisdom teeth surgery. I was surprised that she even offered to do because we didn't ask her for any help. She gave $300 dollars willing to pay for half of the surgery...my moms has been changing for the better and becoming a lot nicer. I'm really happy that things are getting better...I'm always happy and thankful that I have Ryo, he has helped me with so much and helped me get better. I just sometimes wonder how he puts up with me because I know I am stubborn but life is actually a lot easier to deal with. Well bye bye.

Its funny how things play out...

So I got fired from my job yesterday....I knew it was going to happen eventually since they do not like me there. I got hired at C3 so hopefully that goes through well. The thing I'm going to miss the most is all of the awesome people I met there.......I know its a crappy situation but I am happy I am gone..its a terrible place to work and be at. Besides that nothing new...played from my first beta a couple weeks ago....Destiny is so fun! Well bye bye.

Hedgy died today..

We buried him in our backyard...I am devasted.

Feeling sick

Had to call off work...no love right now. 😞😔😥😓😓😢😩😰

Today was good

Got an snk wallet, boba, ramen sora. Felt like shit due to my stupid insecurities..yay. Was given some really good news yesterday....that hopefully will be okay. 

I feel

Like these days come too often now, I hate the feeling of isolation. I feel like people at work just deal with me but don't really like me. I don't try to get to tier 2 because I feel I won't belong.

Well I really haven't been here in awhile..

But update I still work for PlayStation at Sitel, we have a new house though and a new car (Subaru brz) so things aren't that bad. But bleh not in the mood to write now I guess. Bye.

Things have been one hell of a ride .

Are we meant be...? I wonder sometimes because we do clash a lot. I'm stubborn and won't give in. I swear my insecurities will kill the only relationship worth keeping...I really try to take it to heart what lyndyn told me that one day...so things will work out Ryo. But it's so hard to think positive thoughts for me. I'm not used to having 100% positivity in my life. It feels like a chemical imbalance when multiple things don't go wrong with my day. Gawd, I'm so terrified of driving Ryo away to the point that he would leave me.

Dang !

I haven't posted in awhile! Still working at PlayStation. Have my way own ps3 because of work now. My sweety gifted me a vita, I got some beats headphones, shoes, a purse and other awesome gifts :3 Also got my hair changed today.